Genesis. New beginnings.
Can I be honest with you for a moment? I’ve put off starting this blog for more than 3 months. I’m a mother of two small boys, a full-time career counselor, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend to many. I’ve tried starting blogs before: one that showcased our photography skills when my husband and I owned a wedding photography business; one that was supposed to be funny and showed the lives of two quirky twenty-somethings. I think there was a food blog at one point in time. I know how much time goes into keeping a blog going. The planning, the topics, the organizing, the tagging.
And y’all, I’m exhausted. BUT. A keynote speech given by Bob Hostetler at the Asheville Christian Writer’s Conference last month absolutely broke me. I cried. A lot. And I don’t do crying. Especially in public. And yet there I was, in that small auditorium, crying buckets of tears.
I’m looking at my notes now and I’m not sure at which point God wrung my heart out. The speech used Judges 6 when God used Gideon to save Israel from the hands of Midian to illustrate several points. It might have been Bob telling me to be faithful in the obscurity. I’ve worked hard the last two years to produce a manuscript I’m proud of, but I have no idea if anything will come of it. I very often remind myself that it’s not “my” manuscript; everything I do and everything I have is God’s and He will use it however He wants. I just need to be faithful in the obscurity, even if that means no one but a tight circle of mentors and friends will ever read it.
It might have been when Bob told us to go in the strength we have because it’s not our strength that matters, but God’s. More often than I care to admit, I crawl into bed at the end of the day absolutely spent, so I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t need to rely on my strength, but God’s.
But in all honesty, I think it was when Bob told us to rely on God’s promised presence. “I will be with you, Mighty Warrior.” Y’all. Maybe you had to be there, but half my notes are unreadable for the blotches of tears that hit the page. Starting a blog– or coming up with a marketing plan, gathering an audience, pitching to scary agents, coming up with a platform…figuring out what a platform is– isn’t the biggest feat for most people, but for me, it may as well be conquering Midianites. But I will go and be faithful in the obscurity, in the strength God has given me, relying on his promised presence as I make my offering regardless of who reads it.
And so, my prayer, dear reader, is that you will be blessed through my posts and my journey as God has surely blessed me.